Ramblings about Halloween Nostalgia

There's something so warm & cozy about the 2000s fall/halloween aesthetic & maybe I just think that because I was a kid at that time so I am partial to it but I do feel there was a deliberate & intentional look to it. I just want to take a moment to appreciate it. 

I grew up in a very religious household so we didn't do halloween, I could watch halloween movies & have halloween treats but there was no dressing up or trick or treating, I think I dressed up once lol & I always credit my love of halloween to my lack of it at home as a kid. I am religious now but I'm a believer that the devil doesn't get to have a day, "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." So my memories of Halloween decor come from shows, movies, stores, & school. School is a big one because my elementary school really knocked it out of the park, I often think of the low lighting in aftercare, the string lights in the library, the little paper pumpkins, cobwebs, decorated doors, the halloween pretzels in the shapes of bats, ugh what I would give to sneak off & wander during aftercare again or to be huddled around the TV cart with my sister watching a movie & waiting for mom to pick us up.  

I've created a little fall moodboard here & it's just things that incite that cozy, halloween feel. Honorable mention for the window clings! I loovveed the gel window clings - we had Christmas ones & they always smelled like a mix of plastic & our attic, which was kinda gross but in a good way. I also love this very classic halloween color scheme of orange, purple, green, & black! Hot take, I don't think the pink, rainbow, disco ball halloween decorations we see these days give a festive feel at all, they may as well be year round decorations. I want to say that I don't wanna yuck anyone's yum & you should like whatever aesthetic brings you the most joy but I don't think you're supposed to say those things after a hot take.  

Here's what I'm going to be doing to get a bit of this feeling back:

• Reading spooky books from my childhood like Scary Stories to tell in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz, Bunnicula by Deborah & James Howe, & any Goosebumps books 
• Watching nostalgic movies & shows like Halloweentown, Goosebumps, Scary Godmother, Paranorman, Hocus Pocus, & Scooby Doo 
• Trying to use my phone as little as possible! I want to be present & enjoy the little things like slowing down & lighting a candle, looking at falling leaves, & turning on all my little light up decorations. 
• Creating nostalgic fall moodboards 
• Thrifting for fall decor (I feel like a lot of nostalgic finds are there)

I think I'm going to put up my fall decorations this weekend, they usually go up right after my birthday (August 20th) but we just haven't gotten around to it yet so I'm excited for that & I'm sure it'll elevate the super cozy vibe I'm going for. Have you decorated yet or done any fall/Halloween activities?

My favorite fall coffee! ˚˖𓍢ִ໋༄˖°.🍂.ೃ࿔ˎˊ˗ Salted Maple Butter Latte

I was going to post about this in my bookish cafe tab but I feel like it's too delicious to not make an entire dedicated post about! This is something that I look forward to every fall & I always conserve a bit of the ingredients for later on in the year. It's so sweet & comforting!

What you'll need 🍁 

- espresso 

my espresso recs: If you have a moka pot or espresso machine - Illy Classico Espresso, If you have a nespresso - Scuro or Chiaro Pod, If you have no machine - Nescafe Blonde Instant Espresso 

- Salted Maple Cold Foam from Trader Joe's

- Organic Maple Butter from Trader Joe's 

- Flaky sea salt (I think the one I use is Maldon but it doesn't matter lol just make sure it's flaky & yummy - I've always been really strange about salt, I can eat bits of the Maldon salt as a snack it's so yummy!) 

- Oat milk (or whatever milk floats your boat)

Let's make it!!! 

Start with a teaspoon (or more!) of the maple butter, crack a little bit of sea salt over it, then brew a double shot of espresso right over that. If you're using the instant espresso or moka pot go ahead & make your double shot then pour it right over your spoon of maple butter/salt.  Instead of adding our ice to our cute cup 1st we're going to pour our maple-y double shot in, add milk to cool it down, then ice last, this way it's not watered down. Top with the salted maple cold foam & you're done! Little tips - you'll want to use hot water for the instant espresso so that it actually dissolves the maple butter but I have noticed the instant espresso is kinda fussy, you can burn it so be careful of that. If you're brewing the espresso over it you'll still need to take your time stirring it to ensure it all dissolves & incorporates properly. 

Do you have any favorite fall coffee recipes?

Fall Mini Haul

Here's my bit of retail therapy from this weekend! Mostly super cozy, fall stuff even though it's still sweltering hot out. Now, I am really trying to save money (and failing evidently) but these things were calling to me & I needed to restock my Nespresso pods. 

In my Nespresso restock I have my tried & true pods: Nola, Chiaro, Scuro, Dolce, & Voltesso. I also ordered the new Cinnamon Apple Crisp pod. I am going to be brutally honest about the cinnamon apple crisp, I did not like it at all. It left a weird aftertaste in my mouth for the entire day, it smelled heavily like an apple scented candle but then tasted like nothing, & was a little more bitter than I expected. I think for fall coffee pods I'm going to stick with the Pumpkin Spice Cake ones lol. Have you had any yummy fall coffees yet?

Shane & Rick are so tragic

TW: I don't hate Shane (don't hate me lol)

My boyfriend & I have one episode left in s2 of the Walking Dead & oh my goodness, I just feel so deeply about Rick & Shane so I had to write about them. I am a Shane defender, his character & his dynamic with Rick is soooo tragic to me.RIP to my man 💔 I just have such a soft spot for Shane, I think that Rick is so easy to love, he's our classic leading man! He's selfless, kind, & he goes out of his way for people, but Shane is so much more complex, we watch his downfall. (Someone needs to make a edit of them two with the TikTok audio "He is staabllleee you aarrrre deeeeeep" - Rick is stable & Shane is deep) I don't think he's just a villain like I've seen a lot of people paint him to be, I think he's morally grey & misunderstood. I know the show went on for a while so I know there's a lot of character development left for Rick & I wish we could've seen more of Shane. 

I'm sure everything I'm about to write has already been thought & said because how old this show is & I don't have really groundbreaking or thought provoking opinions but I just wanted to yap about it because I love them!!! They make my heart hurt. 

They had very real love for each other & that makes me so emotional, they were best friends, they grew up together, they were partners together & had each other's backs, they wanted deeply to help each other. 

"You think I'd shoot Rick? That is my best friend, that's a man that I love, I love him like he's my brother" 

From Shane visiting & talking to Rick in his coma & trying to get him out of the hospital bed to Rick giving Shane a chance to drop his gun & not kill him, they wanted to save each other. Neither one of them wanted to kill one another. 

Sure, maybe Shane did go crazy & lose the plot but I think that hurt him as well. Thinking about the way he looked at himself in the broken glass when he tried to kill Rick with the wrench, he looked scared of himself or like he had the awareness that what he was doing was not right.It seems like for a moment he kinda softens & maybe I'm misinterpreting the way that he looks here but it looks like he has a small moment of remorse but then can't really stop because in his head everyone is in danger because of Rick & on top of that, he's spiraling with envy. He's in an impossible position. 

Trying to kill someone who was like a brother to him must have weighed heavy on him & I do feel like even towards the end he still had a respect & love for Rick that conflicted with his bitter feelings towards him. And there's a bit of a parallel here I think, Shane must have been grappling with conflicting thoughts of loyalty & respect for Rick & this idea that he has to protect the ones he loves & to do that he must hurt his friend.Rick must have been grappling with something similar when he had to stare down the barrel of his friend's gun & hope that he would drop it so he wouldn't need to kill him, there must have been conflicting thoughts of loyalty & love & respect & the idea that he has to protect his family & to do that he must hurt his friend. 

They're literally 2 brothers hardened & turned against each other by circumstance & that is so heartbreaking. No more gentle touches, no more supporting each other, no more Shane reining himself in for the sake of his friend, no more patience, just betrayal, violence, & grief. 

I think Shane really did try, he tried to follow Rick's lead, he tried to get over Lori, he tried to do what he thought was best for everyone. I feel like at every turn he was just trying to protect people & sure, he went about it the wrong way but I can't sit here & pretend like Rick made all the right choices either. They're all in a terrifying situation, no one actually knows what to do, & Rick was doing exactly what Shane was! He was making choices that he thought was for the best, he was trying to be a good leader, be there for everyone, & keep everyone safe, the only difference is Shane was brutal & had a selfish streak (in that he only cared for himself, Lori, & Carl) Rick is not. 

Their last moment together was steeped in anger, betrayal, bitterness, & desperation. I could be misinterpreting the whole thing but this is what I think, they're just so tragic to me, I love them.  

August Faves ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

I am so ready for the fall! I'm back north now, my trip to Florida was really nice & I wanted to make a post about it but I'm not sure that it was eventful enough to warrant that lol. Spending the last of summer down south with my parents was really nice & I cannot wait for the weather to start getting cooler! Before we can move on to the -ber months I wanted to share last month's faves! 

Love to the fangirls

I've never been casual about an interest before, I'm a fangirl through & through. It started with Hannah Montana in elementary school, I had a Hannah Montana notebook/stationary set for school, Hannah Montana games, Hannah Montana lunch box, Hannah Montana everything, I just loved her. Of course I have to mention the MileyWorld fan club, I never got a membership but I wanted one soooo bad! Then it was One Direction, this was the most fangirl I have ever been, they consumed my life. I was genuinely obsessed, I woke up early for their album drops, wrote fanfic, ran a fan account, went to bat in fandom wars, followed every update religiously, re watched their performances over & over, had their posters all over my room, would put on the Up all Night tour DVD & turn out all the lights to pretend like I was at their concert (this occurred multiple times), had copious amounts of merch, they were the only artists I'd listen to (besides Little Mix, Ed Sheeran, 5SOS, & Cher Lloyd - but lets be honest, all the Directioners listened to these artists, it was almost like if you were a Directioner you were a fan of them too by default), they were on my mind for 99% of every day. This era was such a fun one because I was at just the right age where I could love them so deeply & be so consumed with them without the realization that they're random men I don't know lol. I believe you can be a fangirl at any age but there's a sweet spot where you're deeply delusional & it's kinda fun lol. Then it was Superwholock (another peak fandom!), then it was PTV & ADTR & SWS & all the other bands we were obsessed with in the peak Warped Tour era (back when a ticket was $50, not an arm & a leg), then a bunch of smaller/kinda inactive fandoms like ATLA (before covid when it really blew up), then Arcane, then I discovered Kpop & it was Enhypen, New Jeans, Twice, BTS, & Stray Kids. I must say the Kpop Stans are probably the closest to how Directioners were/what that culture was like but they're more problematic. A discussion on kpop Stans is one for another time, as one I have a lot of thoughts!

 That's besides the point, the point is I (as well as all the other fangirls) have always loved deeply & loudly! I'm not gonna lie I'm getting choked up thinking about Directioners & what it felt like being one, it was so special & I feel so bad for the people born without the fangirl gene! Let me get back on topic here instead of writing an essay about 1D & how bad I miss them & how impactful they were on millions of little girls lives. 

I just love fangirls! They're so loving, devoted, passionate, free, & unashamed about the things that bring them joy! I hate how they're shamed, I hate how we look at young women screaming & crying over artists & think "wow they're crazy!" instead of thinking "wow how much love they have, how much appreciation they have for this person's talents, how deeply they can feel & connect with this art that they're brought to such raw emotion, how beautiful that they're experiencing such vulnerability together, how full of love they are!" And this isn't a new thing, throughout decades people have come together to experience this love together & they find community in it & people have painted them to be crazy or hysterical! My aunt loves Prince & my mom loves Michael Jackson just like I love One Direction! Just today I saw a Michael edit on my fyp & thought "wow, if they had edits in mom's day I just know she'd have a whole folder dedicated to Michael's" & it made me kinda sad that they didn't get to experience this. And I'm not trying to be sexist but I think you see more girls than boys in these spaces because it's a testament to the way women love; loyally, boldly, all in, & without regard for what other people might think!Just so beautiful!

Through a mutual deep love for an artist we're able to connect positively & what's so wrong with that? What's the difference between wearing an athlete's jersey & wearing a t-shirt with an artist's face/name on it? What's the difference between collecting baseball cards & collecting photo cards? What's the difference between joyfully screaming when your team scores & joyfully screaming over hearing & seeing your favorite artist? 

My niece recently got into kpop & her mom makes fun of her for it a little bit but I love seeing her do the choreography & hear her talk about her favorite groups! I love being able to bond with her over that! I know when I was younger being a fangirl was not cool, liking One Direction was not cool, but I hope that as time goes on the people on the outside of these spaces can have a little more appreciation for them. Cause let me tell you, these fangirls are full of joy & are super cool! It's not mania or hysteria, it's love & devotion. And can that get a little parasocial? Sure, but not all fangirls are parasocial & I would go as far as saying most are not. In these spaces we made lifelong friendships, we discovered a love of writing or photography or reading, we uplifted one another, I genuinely think being a fangirl is such a healthy & lovely thing, argue with a wall!

The Walking Dead is soooooooooooo sad

I know I'm over a decade late to the party but I'm finally watching TWD & it's so much sadder than I thought it would be. I know literally nothing about this show, I don't know how I managed to avoid spoilers & everything unintentionally but somehow I have. I thought it was gonna be more scary & spooky but here I am crying over a little boy seeing his mom as a walker & a horse being eaten.  I started watching this mainly because I wanted to see Jon Bernthal in something without being super sad (the Punisher I think would make me super sad) so I put this on but I'M STILL SO SAD BUT NOW I'M INVESTED IN THE STORY SO I DON'T WANNA STOP WATCHING. Ya know before I put this on I was like "maybe it'll make me sad, maybe I should save this for another time" & I almost put on Zombieland since it's leaving Netflix soon.