Love to the fangirls

I've never been casual about an interest before, I'm a fangirl through & through. It started with Hannah Montana in elementary school, I had a Hannah Montana notebook/stationary set for school, Hannah Montana games, Hannah Montana lunch box, Hannah Montana everything, I just loved her. Of course I have to mention the MileyWorld fan club, I never got a membership but I wanted one soooo bad! Then it was One Direction, this was the most fangirl I have ever been, they consumed my life. I was genuinely obsessed, I woke up early for their album drops, wrote fanfic, ran a fan account, went to bat in fandom wars, followed every update religiously, re watched their performances over & over, had their posters all over my room, would put on the Up all Night tour DVD & turn out all the lights to pretend like I was at their concert (this occurred multiple times), had copious amounts of merch, they were the only artists I'd listen to (besides Little Mix, Ed Sheeran, 5SOS, & Cher Lloyd - but lets be honest, all the Directioners listened to these artists, it was almost like if you were a Directioner you were a fan of them too by default), they were on my mind for 99% of every day. This era was such a fun one because I was at just the right age where I could love them so deeply & be so consumed with them without the realization that they're random men I don't know lol. I believe you can be a fangirl at any age but there's a sweet spot where you're deeply delusional & it's kinda fun lol. Then it was Superwholock (another peak fandom!), then it was PTV & ADTR & SWS & all the other bands we were obsessed with in the peak Warped Tour era (back when a ticket was $50, not an arm & a leg), then a bunch of smaller/kinda inactive fandoms like ATLA (before covid when it really blew up), then Arcane, then I discovered Kpop & it was Enhypen, New Jeans, Twice, BTS, & Stray Kids. I must say the Kpop Stans are probably the closest to how Directioners were/what that culture was like but they're more problematic. A discussion on kpop Stans is one for another time, as one I have a lot of thoughts!

 That's besides the point, the point is I (as well as all the other fangirls) have always loved deeply & loudly! I'm not gonna lie I'm getting choked up thinking about Directioners & what it felt like being one, it was so special & I feel so bad for the people born without the fangirl gene! Let me get back on topic here instead of writing an essay about 1D & how bad I miss them & how impactful they were on millions of little girls lives. 

I just love fangirls! They're so loving, devoted, passionate, free, & unashamed about the things that bring them joy! I hate how they're shamed, I hate how we look at young women screaming & crying over artists & think "wow they're crazy!" instead of thinking "wow how much love they have, how much appreciation they have for this person's talents, how deeply they can feel & connect with this art that they're brought to such raw emotion, how beautiful that they're experiencing such vulnerability together, how full of love they are!" And this isn't a new thing, throughout decades people have come together to experience this love together & they find community in it & people have painted them to be crazy or hysterical! My aunt loves Prince & my mom loves Michael Jackson just like I love One Direction! Just today I saw a Michael edit on my fyp & thought "wow, if they had edits in mom's day I just know she'd have a whole folder dedicated to Michael's" & it made me kinda sad that they didn't get to experience this. And I'm not trying to be sexist but I think you see more girls than boys in these spaces because it's a testament to the way women love; loyally, boldly, all in, & without regard for what other people might think!Just so beautiful!

Through a mutual deep love for an artist we're able to connect positively & what's so wrong with that? What's the difference between wearing an athlete's jersey & wearing a t-shirt with an artist's face/name on it? What's the difference between collecting baseball cards & collecting photo cards? What's the difference between joyfully screaming when your team scores & joyfully screaming over hearing & seeing your favorite artist? 

My niece recently got into kpop & her mom makes fun of her for it a little bit but I love seeing her do the choreography & hear her talk about her favorite groups! I love being able to bond with her over that! I know when I was younger being a fangirl was not cool, liking One Direction was not cool, but I hope that as time goes on the people on the outside of these spaces can have a little more appreciation for them. Cause let me tell you, these fangirls are full of joy & are super cool! It's not mania or hysteria, it's love & devotion. And can that get a little parasocial? Sure, but not all fangirls are parasocial & I would go as far as saying most are not. In these spaces we made lifelong friendships, we discovered a love of writing or photography or reading, we uplifted one another, I genuinely think being a fangirl is such a healthy & lovely thing, argue with a wall!